After all my strength is gone, In you I can be strong, I look to you.

Haven't been on in quite a bit. Reason is my computer hasn't been working for like 5 months so yeaaaa. I changed since the last time I came on here. I got stronger, my faith in god also got stronger. When you've been in a rough place for a long time and have nobody to run to because of your angry problems, family problems or something simple like a bad heartbreak, well a heartbreak isn't simple but you get I mean, you can always turn to god. He's there 24/7 all you have to do is talk to him and he will listen, he IS listening. I was a mess for about mooonths due to the things I mentioned, it got bad I was in my room on my knees crying my eyes out I couldn't stop, then I started praying. Well I already use to pray every night before I go to bed but this prayer was different, I asked god to help me, help to gain strength and help me to forgive. I stayed there on the floor praying and crying, I had my arms in the air hoping that if I put them higher that god would reach down and touch me, I just wanted to know if he was there, suddenly I felt something warm and comforting and I just stopped crying, I got up feeling a weight was lifted off my shoulders. From that moment on all I wanted to do was get closer to god. He saved me.

Mixed feelings about leaving...

I have nothing really to say. I mean i don't do much just sit in my room waiting to move out of this state. I'm so anxious to move out of Connecticut but so very worried i won't make any friends in Florida. I'm a little shy so it's going to be tough. I feel as if i'll be alone, I won't be alone of course my mother is coming along but my brother isn't. He's 20 years old and he's my best friend. It's going to be very hard leaving without him. He chose to stay in CT with our dad because he isn't ready to leave. I understand where he's coming from but i just wish he would move with us. He doesn't know it but i need him in my life, way more then he needs me. I of course don't tell him this, i have a hard time telling the people close to me how i feel. I wanted this for so long, I wanted to leave Connecticut and start fresh somewhere else, but i've never been more scared in my whole life.

Random Post of the shows that i am obsessed with.

In no type of order these are the shows that i watch or watched from beginning to end or still watching. 

Terra Nova: A Science Fiction Drama about a family of 5 who lives in the year 2149. A year of no hope. The Shannon family travels through a portal back into the Cretaceous period where dinosaurs live among them. They go there for a new and better life. But have some troubles along the way with carnivorous dinosaurs and a group of savages called the Sixers. 

Falling Skies: A Science Fiction Drama about a group of civilians dealing with the apocalypse in Boston. What started it? Extraterrestrials. They have to fight to survive. It's a really really good show that aired in July of 2011 but won't come back till the summer. A whole year waiting for this show to come back on is just torture. 

Sons of Anarchy: A very awesome Drama Series. The Sons of Anarchy is an kick ass motorcycle club. They protect and control their town called Charming. If anyone double crosses them they kill em. That's how they deal with business. Tons of drama and violence in this show. definitely not suitable for children lol.

Glee: A musical comedy-drama about a high school glee club competing on show choir. I have been in choir my whole life so i for this show to come out was a dream come true. The kids in this glee club are all very talented but not everyone in the school sees it. They pick on them for being in the glee club but that makes the relationship of the glee club get stronger and they turn into a big family.

The Secret Circle: A Teen Drama series about a teenager named Cassie Blake who moves in with her grandmother because of the death of her mother. She meets 6 teenagers and they tell her that they are all witches and so is she. She struggles in learning who she really is and find obstacles in the way and people will get hurt.

Once Upon a Time: A Fairy-tale Drama series about Snow White and her prince who has a child name Emma and she is in danger so they hid her in a tree that will take her to another world. The evil queen who was after them and wanted that baby was angry that they did that so she cast a spell and they all traveled to the modern world and no one remembers who they were before that world except a little boy who has the story book and he tries to make everyone remember with the help of snow white daughter.

Supernatural: A Supernatural and Horror series about 2 brothers who hunts demons and supernatural creatures. In the beginning they set off on a journey to find their father thinking he might be in trouble and along the way they hunt the monsters their dad talked about in his journal. Throughout the show they make allies with demons and makes friends with an angel. They want to have a normal and try to do so but living the way they do they realize they can't have a normal life.


Hart of Dixie: A Comedy-Drama series about a Doctor from New York who wants to follow in her fathers footsteps in being a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But that didn't go well so she decides to take an offer from a stranger to work with him in his practice in Bluebell, Alabama. But when she gets there she finds out that he died and leaves half the practice to her. So she takes it and is struggling because almost everyone in the whole town hates her. In order for her to keep the business she needs to have people want to be her patient but seeing that they hate her it's kind of hard so she does crazy things to make them like her but she somehow made it worse. 

The Walking Dead: The best show ever is a post-apocalyptic horror series about a small group of people living in the zombie apocalypse. They try to find stay alive searching for a new home away from the "Walkers". The main character is a sheriff. Before the apocalypse happened he got shot and was in a coma and then woke up to find everyone gone and zombies everywhere. He goes to his house and sees that his wife and son aren't there so he searches for them and befriends some people along the way.

Katy Perry A Country Singer?!

So i read that Katy Perry might be the next singer to cross over to Country. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i love her but noooooooooooooooooooooooo she needs to stay away! I love country music and she will just ruin it. She should just stick with what she's good at and that's POP music.

:(

I was going to write a long essay on how i'm feeling right now, but it's hard. So i'll just say this. I miss him.

Grrrrrr

Woke up frustrated. My mom and I are supposed to be moving to Florida this month or the next. I hate Connecticut. I want to go to a new place far far away from here and meet new people and do new things, things that you can't even do in CT. We have been having a hard time looking for a decent 2 bedroom but it has been hard. I can't stay here. Everyday that passes by i get more depressed. I got the case of the Connecticut Blues.

Bigfoot?!

Watching Finding Big Foot on tv right now. Do i believe that big foot exist? No. Why am i watching it you ask? Because there is nothing else to watch and it's the only thing entertaining me at the moment. There is a lady on the show who doesn't believe in big foot. If you don't believe then why are you on the show? But i guess the same goes for me. If i don't believe then why am i watching it? Hmmm maybe just maybe i believe in it after all........just maybe.

I know that I love you, but let me just say i dont wanna love you in no kind of way

Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same.

Looking for houses in Florida at the moment. I need a fresh start in a far away place from Connecticut.